HAHAHAHA im late to work because the wifi feels to good hahaha
dude can you imagine before the fall like two office angels hanging around the water cooler in the break room. “so what’s on your list of things to do toda- hurufhjgghh”
I SHOULDNT BE LAUGHING
In which every angel yells, “DADDAMNIT CAS, NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN—”
someone bought an entire page of ad space in my school’s yearbook and just put the word ahloo on it
my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
If you don’t get this reference, you’re too young for tumblr.
are you fucking kidding me pixar puts out a movie ever year a baby would get this reference
it’s not pixar it’s a reference to that time in 1994 when lamps became sentient humanoids
many were lost that day
It was a grim day for mankind. My parents took refuge in a cave and thus saved us from certain death; we lived close to a lamp factory at the time and the surrounding region was utterly devastated in the conflict.
My brother fought one off using only an egg whisk and a pogo stick.
Only 90s kids remember the Lampocalypse
My father still has the scars from where one stole his kidney
Ironically, it was a dark time.
You did not
My sister keeps asking me if I want to go see The Great Cosby with her and I don’t have it in my heart to correct her.
imagine the shyest boy you know
that boy has a penis
that sometimes gets erect